No one is safe.

David's bad diabetes joke earned him the wax treatment. Lucky man!

Everyone knows that stand up comedians are horribly demented and damaged individuals. That is why my services were used at a comedy club last night. My job was to torture and humiliate comics after their sets in a sick and twisted live variety show called Paid or Pain. (Funny comedians get money, unfunny comedians get Me!) Or, if a comic was really funny, but really wanted a preview of my sadistic skill set, I could torture them too!

Just a few vanilla-minded comics thought my presence was gross and intimidating and turned the whole night into a side show. Very true! But if I was on stage performing for a group of bloodthirsty drunks and their disapproval of me resulted in hot wax all over my legs, I'd feel lucky for being rewarded for a bad performance! Or I'd brush it off as 'just another Thursday!' But I live in a my own kinky bubble in a crazy town where I get paid to control how people feel. Whether I want them to cry or laugh, I am an emotional puppet master. This is the last thing I ever imagined I would do for work, yet I do it very well. OK perverts - start working your mediocre material at the open mics and one day you may be lucky enough to run into me on the stage.