Sophie's Journey Part I: What's a Nice Girl Like You Doing in a Place Like This?

Can I play too?

The holidays are upon us and I am leaving town for a few weeks to visit family on the other side of the country. My family thinks I am 'different.' Or free-spirited, or offbeat or unique. Pick your adjective.  This is because I moved so far away from home, I am single, I have no babies and I have no foreseeable plans to live a normal (boring) life like the rest of them. They don't know I am kinky, and they don't know about my career choice.

I grew up pretty normal. I wasn't super popular and had some trouble making friends, but lots of kids go through that. I never got tattooed, I never got anything pierced and graduated from college magna cum laude. I was the exemplary daughter and student! Because of all this, many people ask me how I became kinky, personally and professionally.

As I moved into early adulthood, I definitely noticed there were lots of things other girls were into that I wasn't, like finding a nice guy who made lots of money and provide a big house for lots of babies. I brushed it off and assumed that as the years went by, I would eventually feel just like all of those other girls. I got a moderately attractive non-kinky boyfriend who wanted to marry and we stayed together for 3 agonizing years and when I finally moved out of his house, not only did I have to find a new apartment, I had to find a therapist to help me get over vanilla monogamy hell.

I started writing comedy at this time, and a really beautiful blonde woman was cast in my script. She was so hot, even though she wore no makeup and sweatpants to set. She admitted to me that she worked as a Mistress at at fetish dungeon and my jaw dropped to the floor.

Me: You mean that's your job? Sign me up! 
Hot Blonde Mistress: Come with me to the dungeon tomorrow and I'll hook you up. 

The only time I had ever played before was with a few Spanko's, who I always attracted because of my round yoga booty. But I didn't realize how many people were kinky and that there was a whole community of people into kink. The icing on the cake was that I could quit my job as a elementary school art teacher-slash-waitress and become a pro-fetishist. And that is exactly what I did.

Check back in next week for Part II: My Training and My First Session (Yes it gets juicier.)

No one is safe.

David's bad diabetes joke earned him the wax treatment. Lucky man!

Everyone knows that stand up comedians are horribly demented and damaged individuals. That is why my services were used at a comedy club last night. My job was to torture and humiliate comics after their sets in a sick and twisted live variety show called Paid or Pain. (Funny comedians get money, unfunny comedians get Me!) Or, if a comic was really funny, but really wanted a preview of my sadistic skill set, I could torture them too!

Just a few vanilla-minded comics thought my presence was gross and intimidating and turned the whole night into a side show. Very true! But if I was on stage performing for a group of bloodthirsty drunks and their disapproval of me resulted in hot wax all over my legs, I'd feel lucky for being rewarded for a bad performance! Or I'd brush it off as 'just another Thursday!' But I live in a my own kinky bubble in a crazy town where I get paid to control how people feel. Whether I want them to cry or laugh, I am an emotional puppet master. This is the last thing I ever imagined I would do for work, yet I do it very well. OK perverts - start working your mediocre material at the open mics and one day you may be lucky enough to run into me on the stage.

Throw each punch as though it will be your last

Get your minds out of the gutter-it's just a cigar.

It never ceases to amaze me how resilient the testicles are. I can pound and pound away with my dainty fist, yet I never do any real damage. No blood, no bruises, and they pop right back into shape.

I acquired a new pet over the weekend. I will call him Hot Chocolate because that he is what he brought me. Hot Chocolate said I could do whatever I wanted to him. "Pants off!" I ordered. Whatever I want is usually spanking and CBT. I guess I like torturing the rounder body parts. Hot Chocolate was a Mistress' dream. He was very obedient and he smiled a lot which made me want to hear him cry all the more! He tried to muffle his whimpers in a pillow while I punched his nuts but I could still hear him. After he left, I had a spring in my step for the rest of the evening. It feels good to know that little ol' me has the power to make a grown man cry.

Whenever life makes me feel frustrated and powerless, I will think of your balls.
Thank you, Hot Chocolate.

Everything You Need is Downtown

8pm on a Saturday night and looking for trouble.

Last weekend I made it my mission to party as hard as I could. My mission brought me to the Standard Hotel in downtown LA, which is a party mecca for wacky young types like me. A tall, dark and handsome was introduced to me by a friend of a friend and I immediately got that vibe from him - that strong secure vibe from a really stable guy who is totally in control of himself and can get things done. Like the kind of guy I'd call if I ended up in jail.  He opened with a pick up line I get all the time: "Hey, you've got a great ass." Snooze . . .

But then he followed up with, "You must be an Italian girl." It was an astute observation made just by looking at my ass. Why yes, I am a full breed Italian-American. If you stare at my ass long enough you can see the generations of pasta eaters and grape stompers.

Tall, Dark and Handsome brought me downstairs to his suite where I finally got the birthday spanking I've been waiting for. It was so good I couldn't even stay at the hotel to party. I had to go right home and snuggle up in my bed. I am still bruised!

I always swell with pride when I see my bruised ass in the mirror. And underneath all that pride, a part of me wants to get revenge.

Everyone Wants to Bang the Wardrobe Girl

A Mararon Ménage à Trois

I got my birthday wish today. I got spanked. I got way more spankings than years under my belt. I am a lucky girl. My spanker got lucky too, when I decided I needed revenge and spanked him way harder that I thought I could!  After my spanking a boy friend (not a boyfriend) called and offered to take me out for a belated birthday gourmet burger.

The best part of my fancy burger dinner was that my pal told me that he had his very first threesome. He recounted every detail of his new adventure. You never forget your first threesome! I had mine years ago at an after party for a musical I worked on, back when I was a wardrobe girl on Broadway in New York. It started off with a game of spin the bottle with me, the stage manager and his assistant. It ended with me strolling to the subway station at 5 in the morning. Snow was on the ground, my thong panty was in my purse, and there was a huge grin on my face. It must have been 10 degrees but I wasn't cold.

Now I live in Southern California and I never see snow. Between the balmy weather and the kinky sex, I always stay extra warm.

I've been bad. Someone spank me now.

What an innocent face!

On Tuesday, my birthday, I made a smoothie, I went to yoga, my friends took me out for Thai and I turned in early. I thought, what a great way to start off my year! Finally, I am growing up. I can still have fun without drugs and alcohol and that's the way it should be. On Wednesday, the day after my birthday, we hit the Chateau Marmont Bar and I thought I would reward my good behavior with one glass of champagne.

Fast forward to this morning. My roommate is screaming that she can't take a shower because our bathroom is covered in puke.

One of my fabulous pets took me out to lunch this afternoon where I drank my body weight in ice water and inhaled a steak sandwich, and I was back to my normal self in no time.

We all get a free pass on our birthday right? Or in my case, the day after my birthday.  My only regret is that I have yet to receive my birthday spanking! And after last night's fiasco, I really deserve one!

In a Pissy Mood

I couldn't find a pic from Mexico, so here's me being fabulous in an old cemetery.

With all this rain in LA this week, I am reminded of the first time I gave a golden shower.

I was 21 and fresh outta college. I was up for anything. I met a 40 year old screenwriter with long hair and a Mercedes!  He told me he was was writing a screenplay 'on spec' (which is a fancy Hollywood way of saying "for free") about Mexican druglords, and invited me to join him on a research trip to Acapulco. One hour later we were fucking in an elevator. I never knew people seriously fucked in elevators!

When we landed in Mexico, he asked me to pee on him. I drank lots of tequila and did it.

I have since tried to pee on another person, and I haven't been successful at all. I can't get drunk in order to do it because I don't drink heavily anymore. Just like I also don't date screenwriters anymore.
But I just learned that a little champagne does the trick. So now I know how I am going to spend my time indoors this cold, rainy week!

Sex-free Saturday :(

One of my prospective booty calls invited me over to his apartment finally. I wore my sequins booty shorts for the occassion. The apartment has two bedrooms even though he lives alone. What a baller! His pit bull stuck his nose in my crotch and ran, and then I thought I'd go for it, so I threw myself at the Baller.

Him: I've got to get up early tomorrow.

Me: Goodbye, asshole. (I said "Goodbye" but only thought "asshole." I'm a classy lady).

I am not used to being rejected. Who doesn't want to bang me? I know who- it's the one guy I want.

But I am not gonna let it get me down all you wild things out there! I am going to play the rejection away!  Of course, I'll need your help, but you know I'm worth it.
switchsophie@gmail or (323) 903-7184. And don't be afraid to leave a voicemail if I don't pick up. It's a private voicemail box, not the answering machine I share with my grandma. Just kidding, she's dead. Hope to spank your all your asses very soon! XOXO

Season of the Scorpio

A lovely surprise showed up this evening when I was paid a visit by my newest bitch boy! Can he take a good face slapping. And I went at him hard. I always get a little over-zealous when I find nice new bitch boy. The little slut likes a nice paddle on his ass too! (And when I am being a little slut, I like the paddle too!)  It's like my birthday came a few days early. And speaking of birthdays, mine is a few short days away and I love getting naughty presents (My wishlist) over flowers any day. I love to play the most, but presents are a very close second!


Let's play very soon. . . Sophie Blue

Slaves and Sobriety

Happy All Saints' Day! I was raised a nice Catholic girl so I have to say that. Wait a minute. I lapsed and grew up to be an atheist. Nevermind.
I met a lovely young man on the streets of West Hollywood last night. He is an ex-Marine and quite a strapping stud. He humbly admitted to me that he'd love to be my personal slave. Oh, sometimes the planets align and good things fall into Mistress Sophie's lap! And he lives down the street from me!
I didn't say yes however. He needs to show me how bad he wants it. In my secret fantasy, he shows up at my door in his costume from last night (shirtless cowboy) with wonton soup, dark chocolate and Bombay Sapphire. Then, in between sips of my dirty martini, I treat cowboy bill to some ballbusting. I kick him, over and over, right between his legs. So hard that I get a bruise on my foot and cowboy has to rub it out. . . sorry, I spaced for a second. Just visualizing. . .
I would never drink and ballbust of course. It's just a fantasy, the drinking. The ballbusting is reality.

High Holiday and Closet Pervs

Halloween is like the most religious time of the year for me. For a few reasons. I don't believe in any god or follow any real religion of any kind. Also, my life is been one long game of dress up and pretend. This year my gay best boy friend is designing my costume. He wanted to. So I thought, what the hell, let's let the professionals take over. Nobody does Halloween like a Gay!

I have a lot of vanilla friends. Their saving grace is that they are all artists, and therefore, closet kinks. I think most of them are jealous of my life and I punish them for being vanilla by withholding my kinky stories. And we hang out and they just sit there, salivating, waiting for me to open up. Sorry kids! Tit for tat. If I tell you a kinky story you better tell me one, and these people aren't holding. Sometimes there is nothing better than psychological torture.

I do use my experience as a Pro Domme as inspiration in my normal career. (I am a writer, not sooo normal, really). And all who read my writing put 2 and 2 together and realize a normal girl wouldn't know so much about BDSM if she wasn't experienced in it. I could lie and say I just did lots of research, but I tell the truth if someone asks. (I just don't go into specifics even if they ask). And then I wait for that look or some judgmental comment, and you know what always happens? The person ends up liking me more! Closet kinks!

Happy Saturday before Halloween Perverts!

I should be working on my costume! I have done zero work on it. I am very bad.

Lot of my vanilla friends as me what my favorite part of my S&M work is. They think it's because I get some perverse thrill out of beating a man. Well, actually there may be some truth to that...

My favorite part is that I have access to the twisted innermost fantasies of everyday people who walk around in their normal lives like a dirty thought never even crosses their minds! And the fantasies are never boring, never! Like one dude brings me a super-soaker full of hand lotion and I shoot it all over his face cause he wants to feel like he is being sprayed by buckets of cum. What an imagination! I got a little too worked up during our scene and by the time it was over the walls were covered in hand creme. And lucky me, most girls will never know what its like to spray cum all over a man's face but that's why I have such a charmed life.

Come to the Catsuit Lounge and tell me your fantasies, pretty please, it'll make me really happy. I know you want to... I have to get back to making my costume. It's a sin not to dress up on my favorite holiday. 

XO Switchy Sophie

Spankings and Sweets!

OTK followed up with a tiramisu-the best session a girl could ask for. One of my favorite regulars showed up with a box of pastries! Napoleons, tiramisu and a fruit tart! The way to my heart is through my stomach. And if you can give me a really good spanking, that helps too. But the icing on the cake (so to speak) is when it was my turn to take revenge. I put on my special ipod playlist of songs I like to spank in time to (songs with really great drum solos). I would have been a great rock and roll drummer.

Come and play with me at the Catsuit Lounge. Help me to live out my secret rock and roll fantasies and if you really love me, you'll bring cookies.

XO, Sophie